Tag: marriage

Ten Actions for a Healthy Marriage

happy-couple

You each have to put in some work to have a healthy marriage if you want to compare with the 50 years marriage of your parents, who deserve perfect gifts for their golden wedding anniversary from their children. So, here are ten actions you can take to enhance your marriage:

1) Spend Time Together

Spending time together to talk about what is happening in your lives is very important. Take time to understand your partner’s needs, wishes, strengths and weaknesses. When you understand the differences between you, you become stronger and dealing with any problems that arise becomes much easier. You can talk when you’re doing the dishes, on a night out or when cuddling on the sofa at home.

2) Manage Conflict kindly

You are two different people, so you’re not always going to agree on everything. Learn to argue without shouting or swearing. When an issue arises, ask yourself if it’s something you want to spend time discussing. Pick your battles! Don’t throw accusations at your spouse. Take responsibility and don’t pass on all the blame to your partner. Listen to understand what your partner is saying. Don’t interrupt. Remain calm honest, kind and learn to compromise.

3) Always be respectful

Treat your spouse the same way you want to be treated and the bond between you will be strong. Be sincere with your appreciation of their support and say ‘Thank you’ for their help. Criticisms and put-downs will damage your relationship. Never be tempted to say something about your partner that puts them in a poor light (unless you feel in danger because of their behaviour).

4) Know yourself

How well do you know yourself? If you don’t know yourself well, it will be difficult to learn about your partner. Learning about yourself helps you both. You can always learn more about your partner however long you’ve been together. What are your dreams for the future? What is your worst fear? How do you like to receive love? Make a commitment to find out new things about each other and you will grow and strengthen your marital bond.

5) Emotional intimacy

Sex is enjoyable, fun and brings you closeness. Be imaginative! Emotional intimacy is when you are safe to share all of yourself (not just sexually) without fear of being belittled or judged.

6) Shared Interests

It’s good to have space to follow your own interests independently. Your relationship is improved if you also share an interest. You may support the same football team or enjoy the same band. This gives you an opportunity to share experiences and create new shared memories. Common interests can also include a shared enjoyment of simpler things such as going on walks or playing board games.

7) Be generous

Ensure that your spouse is your top priority. Make time for each other. Help each other out in times of stress and overwork. Write love letters from the heart. Remember birthdays and other celebrations and create or buy a special gift that matches their personality and interests.

8) Communicate effectively

However long you’ve been married and however well you know each other, you’re not mind-readers. Really listening to your partner is a skill that takes practice. Don’t just listen to the words, watch the body language too. Be honest and tell your spouse what is going on and how you feel. Keep calm and don’t be defensive or emotional if you’re hearing things you don’t like. Ask for clarification until you both understand each other.

9) Forgive Each Other

You are going to feel hurt, frustrated and upset by your partner. Both of you! Sometimes this is done knowingly for example after an argument, but sometimes it is a genuine misunderstanding. Since none of us are perfect, be prepared to forgive mistakes. As soon as possible after you have caused upset or made a mistake, apologise. Be sincere with your apology and with the amends you need to make.

10) See the Best in Each Other

You fell in love with the wonderful qualities you saw in your partner when you first met. For example: He may have been really passionate about a topic. Now you just think he’s crazy! It may be that it’s your perception that has changed, not his behaviour. Fall in love again by listing all the things you love about your spouse.

Uncategorized

Wedding traditions and where they come from

traditions

Weddings are events that begun long time ago and they are being practiced today. This event brings together different families with different cultural practices. The commonly used word bride means cook according to the Teutonic words .initially the dressing of the bridesmaids was similar including the veil to prevent the evil spirits from touching the bridal couple on the wedding day. The bride and the bridegroom wore blue band around their waist to show commitment and being faithful to each other. They also had a silver sixpence that meant prosperity and good luck for the married people. Receiving an engagement ring is also an old tradition and these rings are usually made of glass. Tradition states that the ring should be put on the fourth finger because is believed that there is a vein which runs from this finger straight to the heart, and this is till practiced till today.

Marriage days and times

Traditionally most marriages are done on Saturdays but those who still believe in the past choose on days according to what it meant. Each day of the week had its meaning like Monday meant marriage for wealth, Tuesday meant marriage for health, Wednesday meant marriage for the best day of all, Thursday meant marriage for crosses, and Friday meant marriage for no luck at all. The romans believed in making their marriages in the month of June because it a month of blessings from juno the queen of gods and the protector of all marriages.

Presence of groomsmen

According to the tradition the presence of the groomsmen in the wedding ceremonies showed some security. This was applicable in the old days where the bride was kidnapped. They also prevented fights where the family of the bride wanted to stop that marriage.

Wearing of veils

This originated from the old practice where the bridegroom was instructed to throw a blanket or a sheet to the woman he wants to marry. When the marriages were being planned the face the bride was to be covered until the last day of their marriage to prevent her from changing mind on the choice of thee man they made for her.

veils

Marriage presentations and believes

Victorians had different meanings for every presentation made and done on the wedding day. Many couples today use these signs to make their choices.fr or example the rose flowers show purity and love, orchids meant rare beauty, ivy meant fidelity and wedded love, daisy meant being loyal, snowdrops showed hope in their marriage and peony showed a lot of happiness.

The color of their dressing also has a meaning just like today many people use white color showing purity and virginity though it’s believed to ward off evil spirits. Marrying in gray showed that your marriage will go far away.

According to the French believes bread was put in a glass of wine passed around to the visitors. The person who will be the first to reach the wine was the one to adore the luck. The honeymoon generally meant taking the bride into the hiding place especially when she was kidnapped or taken forcefully.by the time the family members get her she would be pregnant and there will be no negotiation for the price.

Uncategorized